Monday, January 10, 2011

Ecco the Dolphin reviews non-dolphin games.

Hi there, my name is Ecco. You might remember me from the classic Sega Genesis game Ecco the Dolphin. Those were some pretty wild times, but when I'm not starring in my own games, I like to provide reviews for current games. I hope to become an important critic in the gaming industry. So far, Dolphins' only real contribution to gaming has been in cheesy New Age-y games like my own.


Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker
This game is about as Metal Gear Solid as it comes. Metal Gear Solid has always been a flawed, but ambitious series. People say it's always managed to evolve alongside the rest of the game industry to keep itself relevant. But I don't know what relevant means because I'm a dolphin.
Mario Galaxy 2
Mario Galaxy 1 was a masterpiece of 3D platformers, and Galaxy 2 is even better than that, or so I'm told. I can't really play any videogames because controllers aren't designed for fins.
Mass Effect 2
Continuing the epic sci-fi saga and improving the mechanics in just about every way imaginable, Mass Effect 2 is very nearly a masterpiece of sci-fi gaming. This is only what I can assume. I only heard of this game, I haven't played it. Videogame consoles don't work underwater, unfortunately.
Kirby's Epic Yarn
Since this game isn't a bucket of fish, I'm not all that interested in it. I'm a dolphin, after all.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this very different perspective on games. Until next time, landwalkers.

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